The Hare is proud to report that we have found the transfer portal. It is kept in a secret location in the woods, only known to the most magical of recruiters. Maryland coach, Buzz Williams, was seen there in the dead of night yesterday. He sacrificed three goats and threw them in the portal in return for a five-star commit. 

Our sources say the portal is fueled by a mythic substance called “NIL.” Whatever that is, the supply is running dangerously low. We have heard that one can get more of this NIL from a source called “alumni donations.” However, Maryland wizards have not yet figured out this source. 

If more NIL is not found, the transfer portal may be sealed forever, leaving the kingdom of Maryland in permanent ruin. Our only hope is to extract everything from our NIL mines to keep the portal running. In other news, does anyone want to make a Maryland Day donation to the Terps?

Image Credits: Ian Jackson