We all remember fire drills. They’re the occasional break from the monotony of grade school to stand outside — god forbid it’s cold — until the teachers get the signal that the building is “safe” to reenter. Now, in college, fire drills are no longer breaks from school but are instead breaks from home — a break from a break, if you will. However, these new fire drills are far from mandatory, and some students take full advantage when they hear that familiar siren from the comforts of their dorm room.

Blaze B. (19) has bravely come out to say that he’s never evacuated a residence hall since arriving at UMD. “The first time there was a fire drill in my building, it dawned on me: I don’t have to do this. What are they gonna do — break down the door and carry me out? I’d like to see them try!” He went on to proclaim that he was training at Eppley for that very scenario.

Of course, Blaze intends to ignore fire drills, but others only do so accidentally. Nina D. (20) is one such person. “I was watching something at the time. I thought the alarm was coming from my phone. It was actually a video essay on disaster procedures in public schools, so it made sense at the time. Did you know that people tend to freeze during emergencies if they haven’t practiced what to do? Scary stuff.”

Another student, Marisol F. (21), recounts a time she ignored a fire drill. Though she typically does heed the siren’s warning, “that time I was in the shower. I wasn’t going to go outside naked. Besides, if anything, I was safer in the shower!”

Ilma E. (19) is perhaps the most relatable in her fire drill procedure. Despite there being no real enforcement of fire drills, most of us still participate — but not necessarily with the expected haste. “I always find my Airpods first,” Ilma says. “I like to listen to music while standing there.” When asked if the loud siren declaring a “fire emergency” ever makes her hurry when searching for her beloved Airpods, Ilma responded, “there is no fire emergency.”

Dave B. (22) takes the opposite approach to Ilma. “As soon as I hear the fire alarm go off, I stop to empty my pockets of my phone, keys, and wallet and remove my sweatshirt before going outside.” When asked why he does that, “Well, everyone always says to leave everything behind. That’s what I’m doing.”

The university and Department of Resident Life strictly condemn skipping fire drills and plan to set fire to one residence hall at random to “teach them all a lesson on fire safety.”

Image Credits: Reagan Eisenstatt