COLLEGE PARK — Out of 40,000 students at the University of Maryland, only a few dare to innovate upon their mobile storage options, often at the cost of style. Kyle Perdedor, a senior Computer Science major, is one of them: a bona fide Rolly Backpack Kid.

Perdedor has plans this weekend. Or at least, he did, before disaster struck. Over the nervous rattling of his backpack’s stainless steel casters, he recounts the injury. “I’m smart. I need to get places. I have things to carry. A rolly backpack just makes sense. You can’t tell me otherwise.” Visibly incensed, Perdedor’s gaze shifts, and his fists ball in a socially inept rage. “I was sprinting between hackathons when this monstrosity stopped me. Who would put that there!?” he cries, gesturing wildly at the concrete staircase. Its steps silently taunt him, yet another hushed mockery of his lifestyle. Perdedor’s eyes water at the sight.

Carrying the bag up the stairs is out of the question, Perdedor explains, snorting at the idea. “It’s a matter of principle. Once I start carrying things, how am I any different than you backpack-cels?” Suddenly grave, Perdedor delivers his mantra: “I live and die by the wheel.” Subsequent suggestions to take an alternate route were withheld for fear of judgment. 

What’s next for the Rolly Backpack Kid? In all honesty, he’s not quite sure. “I was thinking about enlisting to fight in whatever Gulf War is going on at the moment, but the recruiter wasn’t too hot on my rolly backpack. Apparently, it’s not ‘regulation.’” For now, he eagerly awaits the installation of an ADA-compliant ramp, scheduled by the University’s Department of Facility Management for Spring 2042.

Image Credits: Felix Baum