Interesting choice. Not sure why you’d need this information, but go ahead. Count up your A’s, B’s, C’s, and D’s to find out which on-campus building you are.

How often do you shower?

A. 9–12 times per week. Gotta fight the stereotype
B. 7–8 times per week
C. … A regular amount?
D. Whenever I sweat, I guess. Can’t get athlete’s foot

What is the Michelin-Star rating of your favorite restaurant?

A. 3, obviously
B. Zero and I like it that way
C. 1–2 for special occasions, none for regular-eating
D. Michelin? Like, the tire company?

What social media platform do you frequent the most?

A. LinkedIn
B. Instagram, but only for the food vlogs
C. … Duolingo?
D. Strava

Describe your number-one goal in life.

A. Money. Lots of it
B. Keep food on the dinner table
C. Learn something new every day
D. Stay on a disciplined workout schedule

What shoe brand do you most frequently wear?

A. Crocs
B. Sketchers
C. Converse
D. Under Armour

Who’s your favorite celebrity (that I would recognize, probably)?

A. Kathy J. Warden or James Taiclet, I can’t choose
B. Gordon Ramsay
C. Taylor Swift
D. Patrick Mahomes

What’s your biggest pet peeve?

A. Having to actually go outside and walk across campus for classes
B. People who chew with their mouths open
C. People who say “libary” instead of “library”
D. Slow walkers. I just start playing that one Ludacris song

Mostly A’s: Prince Frederick Hall

Well, lookee who we have here! How kind of you to make the trek over from your palatial housing to visit the proletariat. I’m surprised you left, considering the generous donations from your parents’ connections to the military industrial complex and your aversion to physical activity. Yes, yes, I’m sure you joined the program for the dorms and the cybersecurity coursework (also sponsored by Northrop Grumman). Was this really the best option, though? Just something to think about. You’re the one who took this quiz, clearly you’re already questioning something. It’s not too late to jump ship.

Mostly B’s: 251 North Dining Hall

You live to eat, not eat to live. Food is your passion. In a way, all roads you take lead to the dinner table and you are very comfortable with this way of life. Those around you watch in awe as your determination and youthful metabolism allow you to continuously pursue new food-coma-inducing flavor profiles. Aside from your somewhat off-putting intensity surrounding food, you are an all-around chill person and honestly average. In terms of academics, fashion, and basically anything else you can think of, you are pretty normal. I wouldn’t hate being around you, although your addiction to the various ways to serve a potato takes some getting used to.

Mostly C’s: Jimenez Hall

You claim to pursue the deeper meaning behind life, but is it working? I can’t really think of anything extraordinary about you, besides the fact that you use “Word-a-Day” toilet paper… probably. Despite this, you haven’t yet managed to defeat Duo Keyshauna Renee Lingo, the green bird that haunts your dreams. I wouldn’t trust you with my English paper, let alone the secrets of the universe. Your frayed tote bag and tweed sport coat do nothing to mask the crippling ineptitude I know you must feel. Okay, maybe I’m being harsh. You have… charm. I guess. I personally see no reason to talk to you though, so, this is all conjecture. Innocent until proven otherwise.

Mostly D’s: Jones-Hill House

Need I say anything? I feel like this one is self-explanatory and you were probably expecting it… “self-explanatory” means it’s obvious. I’m sorry, that’s my fault, I need to remember who my audience is and not use big words. I know! You work very hard and your schedule is packed; things like vocabulary and English conventions fall through the cracks. I get it. There should be something to show for it though, yes? I have been to three football games and committed myself to staying through to the end of each of them. You have disappointed me at every turn. Again, my fault for expecting more. What’s that? I’m being mean again? Take it up with Pines, or your coach, or anyone else. I don’t know. I don’t write for Sports.

Image Credits: Angelina Nguyen