COLLEGE PARK — The University of Maryland’s Department of Transportation Services recently announced new plans to open an “electrifying” Scooter Racing League (SRL), with various planned tracks set around the UMD College Park campus to release “very soon.” 

With a planned finish date of 2067, DOTS has already revealed various track sites. The most notable is Stadium Sidewalks, where participants race along the Stadium Drive sidewalk at 9 AM on a Monday. Helmets are required to participate, with a DOTS representative responding for comments stating “we want to ensure the utmost safety for any participant of the SRL, and any participant that is found to have violated this rule will be fined $150, have their tuition doubled, and will be forced to live in the Ellicott Hall laundry room for the remainder of the semester.” When questioned about the safety of potential pedestrians on Stadium Drive during the race, the representative started laughing before stopping and asking, “you’re serious?”

The introduction of the league has prompted interest from many different prominent sports figures. National Basketball Association star LeBron James, who recently teased “The Third Decision” on his social media pages, is one example. Whilst many speculated this would be a sudden retirement message, fans were left confused after James revealed that he would be contributing $41 million as an investment stake into the SRL, stating that “this Fall, I’m taking my money to Maryland and joining the SRL Board of Directors.” 

Four-time Formula 1 World Drivers’ Championship winner, Max Verstappen, has recently expressed his interest in joining the SRL, commenting in a video interview that “the stewards in Formula 1 are getting too soft — I hope to bring my talent to Maryland where I heard breaking traffic laws is already a part of the culture. I’m excited to get started.” Young F1 rookie Fernando Alonso is also interested in participating, as per a confidential source.

Participants in the SRL will drive a modified version of the Veo Astro micromobility e-scooter, with removed turn-signals and brakes. When asked about the potential changes, frequent Veo rider and interested SRL participant Mikhel Shoemaker said, “those existed?”

Image Credits: Zayan Azom