The Maryland Terrapins will be introducing a revolutionary new concept for the remainder of the college football season: a deflated football. Following two rough losses to Washington and Nebraska since the bye week, team officials have been searching for a way to bounce back — and they believe they’ve found it. A successful catalyst like this could propel the Terrapins to the College Football Playoffs, and even into contender status for the Championship.

Deflating a regulation football can affect gameplay in subtle, yet meaningful ways. A softer ball compresses easier, allowing quarterbacks to improve their control and throw more precisely, especially in shitty Maryland weather. Other players can also benefit, since they are less likely to fumble the ball, have a pass bounce off their hands, or drive a vehicle under the influence. 

Typical National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) rules state game balls need to be inflated between 12.5–13.5 psi. The Terrapins, however, will only be inflating their footballs to 6–7 psi, a number meticulously calculated based on valuable input from UMD’s Brin Mathematics Research Center and tenured Professor Imah Childe. Game balls also must be presented to referees at least 60 minutes before kickoff for testing. When asked what happens if referees notice the difference, an anonymous source from the Athletics Department commented, “Well, Testudo could always use more sacrifices during finals.” Despite concerned inquiries, no clarifying remarks were given.

Head Coach Mike Locksley is enthusiastic about this initiative, reports say, confident in the team’s dominance to follow. One journalist brought up the concern that, for half the game, the other team will reap the benefits of playing with a deflated ball. Locksley replied, “We haven’t really thought that far out yet.” Sources are saying that the original idea of the deflated football can be credited back to an external performance consultant hired from the Greater Boston area.

Check out the debut of this innovation in Maryland’s next game at UCLA on October 18th.

Image Credits: Kenlynn Ingham