The University of Maryland has finally announced the commencement speaker for the class of 2025’s graduation, much to the surprise of its students. This year’s speaker will be the reanimated corpse of Jim Henson, with the event taking place just days after the 35th anniversary of his death. 

Booking Jim Henson for commencement was no easy feat, as the UMD alum’s schedule has been packed with rolling in his own grave since Disney acquired the muppets in 2004. In recent years, UMD has hosted iconic commencement speakers such as Diary of a Wimpy Kid author Jeff Kinney and Maryland Governor Wes Moore. Many students have been wondering how the university could top speakers like them, but students seem to be quite impressed with the university’s effort in bringing on Henson this year.

“Jim Henson is quite the exciting choice for a graduation speaker,” said UMD senior Miss Piggy. “There is, of course, a better choice they could have made, but they couldn’t afford moi.”

“I heard they’re bringing Jim Henson back from the dead for commencement,” remarked UMD super senior Statler. 

“Maybe they can bring me back from the dead after his boring speech!” added UMD super senior Waldorf, before the two super seniors burst into uncontrollable laughter.

Many students have been asking how UMD managed to bring Henson back from the dead, with theories ranging from his corpse being puppeteered by Kermit, to him having been revived in a freak experiment by Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. We don’t have any explicit confirmation of how this has occurred, but we can confirm that Jim Henson tried to bite one of our reporters’ arms off when asked for comment.

Other students have been theorizing which of Henson’s iconic muppets might also appear at this year’s commencement ceremony, with some speculating that Kermit the Frog’s recent EP, which features songs like “The Braaaaaain-bow Connection” and “It’s Not Easy Being (A Slightly Duller Shade of) Green,” could be hinting at a potential cameo. This could however just be suggesting that Kermit himself has become a zombie.

In related news, UMD’s commencement speaker for next year has also been leaked. In 2026, UMD plans to have several Curb Your Enthusiasm clips voiced over by AI as the commencement speaker in memory of Larry David, who they expect to die within a year.

Image Credits: Zayan Azom