On an unsuspecting night, a sharp, loud noise could be heard from just about every single point on campus, after which fires erupted everywhere. As it turns out, every single Veo vehicle on campus had exploded.

“It was like a giant bang,” one student said. “My ears were pretty much bleeding.”

That’s correct: UMD’s rideshare system has now gone to dust, with every single bike and scooter now reduced to pieces. In the process, multiple non-veo bikes, scooters, and other transportation vehicles were destroyed, and many people were harmed as a result. 

Many students are devastated. One student said, “I don’t own an electric scooter, man, and my classes are like, 20 minutes away by walking… yeah, I know that buying an electric scooter will be a better investment over time, it’s just… damn.”

Another student commented, “MY BIKE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” (Yes, that is what he commented. He only said that and walked away, a solemn expression on his face.)

The rideshare system was used by many people on campus, as it allowed them a way to ride a scooter without it being stolen. Of course, many of these riders refused to share one thing: the road. 

“Honestly, I think they kinda deserved it. Hated those guys,” student Ted Estrien said. “Always in my goddamn way.” 

The Department of Transportation is also elated, as it now doesn’t have to worry about those teal transports terrorizing the Terp’s territory. The UMPD has mixed feelings about this. On one hand, micro-mobility incidents will be reduced, but on the other hand, “we’ll probably have to see if this was a cyber attack of some sort,” a police officer commented. “This is gonna take a while.”

The University itself is in shambles. “The University gained a significant profit from these vehicles,” one of the University’s financial officials said. “What are we supposed to spend on the sports teams now?” When they were asked about SGA funding, they refused to comment. 

VeoRide itself is also unsure of what happened. “We’re going to do a full recall on all of our bikes and scooters everywhere. This shouldn’t have happened. The explosion should have been more contained, allowing us to come in and save the day with a lower cost.” When asked to comment on what that meant, the representative simply walked away, a slightly evil smirk on their face.

Image Credits: Parker Johnson