It all started when I moved into Ellicott Hall…

8/23

As a modest Puritan from Salem, Massachusetts, I’m clearly better than anyone else in this University at identifying the supernatural. That is why it pains me to hear my floormates refer to this building as “Hellicott.” While it is abnormally hot, it is not something to be compared to His domain.

8/26

I’ve encountered my first dark spirit.

While my lectures were fine, I believe I encountered a practitioner of dark magic. With his withered frame draped in baggy clothes, sunken eyes hidden behind glasses, a twisted beard, and parallel computing algorithms, he must be a lich. Upperclassmen told me his name, but it is too dark for me to write in this journal.

In case my suspicions about the one who must not be named are true, I will avoid these halls and stay near my dorm. 

8/27

It was at the Y today that I realized campus dining services are corrupted by the deadly sins.

Gluttony is the only explanation for why that many people would line up for orange chicken. I tried to find sanctuary in the aisles of the North Campus Market but alas, Lust beat me there. 

The shelves filled with Nair, Trojan Condoms, and Wild Cherry Pepsi were too much so I retreated into my dorm.

8/28

They’re everywhere.

I was using the bathroom at night when I ran into the witches. They were walking into the bathroom with the most vile potions and brews. One potion even mocked the symbol of peace and was named Dove. They hid behind curtains in what they called the “showers,” but I know what dark practices they are really up to. 

8/30

They’ve corrupted even the outdoors. I hoped to escape Ellicott’s stifling heat and was met by hordes of scantily clothed freshmen. I heard the names C-Stone and Looney’s. I’m not familiar with this area, but I only assume that Looney fellow has enchanted them, drawing them into his dark fortress named C Stone, as the Pied Piper enchanted the children of Hamelin.

8/31

They’re coming for me now. 

I was trying to sleep when I heard them, the voices. They shook my very soul and I could almost feel them vibrating from the walls.

I kept hearing about a “Jersey Mike Cam.” Considering everything that comes out of New Jersey is satanic in nature, Jersey Mike has to be a demon trying to corrupt me. This Mike also was talking about a “First Down.” I’m not entirely sure what that means, but it must be some curse.

9/7

They’re getting louder.

The screaming. 

Someone who isn’t as educated as me would say it’s cheering, but I know it’s something far darker.

9/21

They’re in the walls. 

The voices. 

I can’t escape them and they won’t stop trying to corrupt me with their “Mighty Sounds of Maryland.” I believe my floor mates have been in the temple but I don’t want to ask them what it means in case they corrupt me 

10/11

They. 

Just. 

Won’t. 

Stop.

It lasted for four hours. Hours of assault against my will and my soul. I risked a glance outside my window at the cursed temple once the voices subsided. It’s worse than I thought. I saw thousands of students pouring out of the temple, their souls drained. This surely is the work of the demon Löchzlee. Their gazes were ones of being cursed with disappointment and failure. I must take action.

10/19

I did it.

After four hours of chanting the strongest counter curses I know, even cleansing myself with this elixir named deodorant, I defeated the voices. I defeated Löchzlee. The faces of the souls escaping that cursed temple were no longer ones of failure, but ones of joy. I can rest easy, knowing I solely saved this school from an eternity with Löchzlee.

Image Credits: Ella Valentine