As we all know, Halloween is the one day a year where you can wear a blow-up dinosaur costume to class and not get quite as many weird looks. I thought Halloween was on October 31st, but apparently, it’s that whole weekend. Who knew? Nowadays (or in this case, nights), people have more than one costume picked out for Halloween. After all, it is #Hallowknd. Some of us knew our costumes in November of last year, while others will figure it out right before they go out. Here are some ideas for Halloween this year:

1. A Parent

I’m not talking about a mommy or daddy; I’m talking about a father or mother. Some of these costumes need to be dress-coded, and there is no one else to do it. Same goes for out-of-control parties. If you really want people to respect you, call the cops! They’ll know your costume means business, making you the alpha. You will not have to buy anything for this costume unless you want to wear Loft or Tommy Bahama.

If you choose to dress as a father, you may want to consider holding a gallon of milk. This could help heal a lot of people. 

2. Looney’s Cop

A Looney’s cop is no ordinary cop. No, this is a cop whose only job is to pick up bitches from a local college bar. Given the repeatable statistics, the girls at this bar are most likely underage. If you are looking for some action this Halloween, a Looney’s cop is the way to go. All you need for this costume are a police badge, a vest, and a wedding ring– and you’re all set! It’s as simple as that. There’s even a chance John Mulaney will refer to you as “better than Cornerstone!” There is no way you are going home alone with this costume. 

3. Sexy Testudo

I mean c’mon- this one’s a given. Everyone loves Testudo, so you can’t go wrong. For this costume, you will need: 0 fucks given, a shell, a big nose, and a small bikini. Unlike the website, this Testudo does NOT have a bedtime. I have a feeling this costume is going to be very popular this year, so if you’re looking for a basic, easy costume, this is the one for you! 

NOTE: You may be asked to visit a make-a-wish kid.

4. A Service Dog

Want to sit in any class without anyone noticing? Want to follow someone with a disability so you can also get extra time on your exam? This costume is for you! All you need are dog ears, a red vest that says “service dog,” and the ability to walk on all fours. This costume is more for Thursday during the day, but you’re welcome to wear it at night. With this costume, you won’t have to worry about strangers touching you at the bar because you are in service! If you’re looking for some action, all you need to do is take the vest off, and a flock of white girls will come running to pet you. 

(once you trot back to their dorm, let them know that you like it ruff in bed) 

5. A Veo

As a cherished addition to our campus, a Veo is the perfect Halloween costume for 2024! Everyone will see you as easy, convenient, and rideable. You will be on #FIREEE. All you need to do is print out the Veo logo and tape it onto a shirt of your choosing. You must also hold your arms out to the side all night. What more could you want?! Not to mention, student-athletes will love you. In fact, they will literally pay to ride you! 

**Not advised for freshmen as you would be banned from the dorms**

Image Credits: Helen Hutchinson