Tinder, a highly successful business format known only to make people’s lives better, is the inspiration behind the University of Maryland “Startup Shell” incubator space’s new startup—and its future is looking promising. 

“Well, we’d thought of so many Tinder-inspired startup ideas and realized a lot of them had actually already been done,” said Browan Jorogan. He listed examples of everything from “Tinder but for finding people to do your homework for you” (Chegg) to “Tinder but for giving you self-esteem and body image issues” (Tinder). 

“You know how people use Tinder for making friends, or to promote their small business, or for looking over your friends’ shoulder and ‘playing Tinder’ like it’s a game?” Jorogan expounded. “I mean, not to sound incredibly humble, but we just thought, what about Tinder—but you can use it for dating people?”

Called “Dinder,” a portmanteau of “date” and “Tinder,” these entrepre-Terp-neurs take an approach that can only be described as “Fearlessly Sideways.” 

After being informed that dating people was what Tinder was originally for, Jorogan was completely stupefied, but at that point he had already made $2239857102934709348324871 (equivalent to 5 Bitcoins) and had 834952 girlfriends (equivalent to 3 close friends), and realized he was okay.

While in the minority, there were a sizable amount of women present in the Startup Shell incubator space at the time, but none of them had anything dumb, weird, and out-of-pocket enough to be said that was worth being included in this article. Other members of Startup Shell had insights on the organization. “This man ca—I mean, student idea incubator space, is a very important community to me,” said Shaun White Snowboarding Road Trip II. 

Road Trip II was later seen fidgeting with a chunky plastic Fisher-Price ‘CEO’ badge around his neck. At press time, the Startup Shell student idea incubator space was found keeping an egg warm.

Image Credits: Amelia Nur