Hear the waves calling to you in your sleep? Always thinking of the summer sun? Can’t stop dreaming of white sand beaches and coral reefs? Well, dream no more. Here at UMD, the legendary La Plata Beach just might be the solution to all your woes. And fortunately for you, we at the Hare have compiled a fantastic list of ways to enjoy UMD’s best hyper-ephemeral body of water.

1. Go Boating

Take your boat out for a ride! Boating is loads of fun, which is why nobody we’ve met has brought a boat out on the water here and been disappointed. Rent a kayak from Eppley and try it today! Just be sure to wear a lifejacket—you’ll find the water’s depth unlike any other lake or ocean. Guaranteed!

2. Collect Shells

Any psychologist will tell you that all of us carry shells wherever we go—the shells of the defenses and habits we’ve created to keep others out. By having deep conversations and empathetically connecting with our friends, we can help them cast off the mannerisms that they no longer need. In this way, you can “collect” the “shells” of those you care about and make UMD a better, more healed place to live. Remember—the real shell collection was the friends we made along the way.

3. Build a Sandcastle

Dump sand. Everywhere. Take it from the sand pit. Dump it on the turf. Do it more. Build it high. Do it in the middle of large crowds so others can better admire your work. Dump more sand. If it’s not stacking well, that’s because you don’t have enough.

4. Go Surfing

Technically speaking, surfing could refer to all manner of activities. Head over to La Plata Beach on a warm sunny day after classes when it’s not an exam week, and you’ll be sure to find an environment ripe for surfing! Crowdsurfing, sure. But hey—it’s probably just as fun!

5. Fish!

Defining fish as the biological group containing what we commonly know of as fish and all their descendants (as is the only monophyletic, taxonomically responsible definition), La Plata Beach is teeming with fish! Catch some today! Take them home and eat them! We even have some recipes that might help! Catch them fast before rival fishers citing bizarre archaic anti-fishing laws like “kidnapping” or “cannibalism” try to stop you!

And there you have it, folks! Five fabulous activities for you and your friends to enjoy. Book soon before vacancies run out, and you’ll find yourself enjoying the beautiful sands, wonderful sun, and arguably-extant waves of La Plata Beach. And don’t forget to tune in for more—next time, we’ll be reviewing the top ten gladiatorial shows to see in the Ritchie Coliseum.

Image Credits: Helen Hutchinson