While torrid humidity has plagued the University of Maryland campus for the entirety of the past week, a tipping point was reached when the humidity of the air lept to 101% and the air surrounding campus condensed into a cube of water approximately 3 kilometers deep.

The event took place at 2:14 PM this Saturday during the UCONN football game, where freshman Randy Gerostopolis spilled a Bud Light on the ground, which quickly evaporated in the already roiling heat. As the resulting water taken into the air pushed the humidity over 100%, the air surrounding the stadium began to rapidly condense into a thick mist before fully liquifying. Maryland Terrapins quarterback Billy Edwards Jr., university mascot Testudo, and most of the attendees quickly floated to the surface of the rapidly expanding water cube along with the rest of the campus, with students noting it only felt slightly more uncomfortable than before.

The effect proceeded to spread to nearly the entirety of Prince George’s County, causing scientific befuddlement and millions of dollars in property damage. Hare reporters viewing the event from the Hare-O-Copter^TM reported hundreds of people, mattresses, assorted foodstuffs, and empty beer cans floating on the surface, with several students clinging to the buoyant Testudo for support. Local terrapin turtles (Malaclemys terrapin) have reported that it’s the best the campus has looked in years.

Over 7,000 deaths have been reported, mainly from business majors due to their already-high density preventing them from floating to the surface. From an email sent from his private submarine, UMD President Darryll Pines claimed the event was “unexpected” but that there will be no cancellation of classes this week. Construction workers have already been fitted with state-of-the-art scuba equipment to continue work in the new inland sea.

Image Credits: Joseph Kleinman