UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND, COLLEGE PARK– Congratulations, terps! After many long and stressful weeks, you all get to go back home for break. Still, with so many obligations currently on hold, choosing what to do with your time can be difficult. Here are some of our suggestions:

1. Cry for 72 Hours Continuously. 

Remember all those times in the rest of the semester you wanted to cry or break down but were too busy? All the leading psychologists say it’s bad to bottle these things up— so let them all out at once! See if you can fill a bucket with your own tears!

2. Be Crushed Under the Weight of Your Past Mistakes. 

They say that knowledge of the self is true wisdom, and when better than spring– the time of new beginnings–to engage in some good old introspection. Remind yourself of important truths like “You’ll never be good enough for anyone or anything” and “Nobody will ever truly love you.” Remember, whatever’s going on in your life right now IS your fault, and you SHOULD feel bad about it.

3. Stare at a Wall for Several Days. 

With no more tests to study for or homework to do, you can finally do what you’ve been waiting for the whole semester: stare at a wall. It’s fun, it’s low-impact, and it’s great for stress relief. 9/10ths of a therapist recommend!

4. Atrophy.

Break can be a great time to break away from that tight schedule that you’ve held to for so long. Leave behind that old routine, and with it things like “exercising” or “going outside.” Don’t forget to feel incredibly guilty about whatever you do— even if you don’t take any of the other suggestions here!

5. Burn Down the Nearest Building. 

Now that you’re less busy, it’s a great time to try out some new hobbies! Arson can be an excellent stress reliever, and it brings the added benefit of potentially removing future threats to your mental health. Now that’s thinking ahead!

Well, there you have it, terps. We hope this list helps you manage your time over break, and don’t forget to have fun! You’ve earned it.

Image Credits: Eric Stearns