Following his humiliating defeat in Iowa last week and dropping out of the presidential race, Ron DeSantis has once again thrown in the towel after he failed the first midterm for Math140 with a 21.2%, dropping out of both the class and his major.

Having nuked his political aspirations, the Florida governor successfully, via millions of dollars of tax revenue as bribes, enrolled in the University of Maryland’s prestigious Computer Science program to hopefully salvage a shred of dignity. However, such hopes were quickly dashed as Governor DeSantis was “weeded out” by the prerequisite course, Calculus 1, after he utterly bombed the first midterm on limits and continuity. By sheer coincidence, his 21.2% exactly matches the 21.2% of voters he attracted in Iowa, and the 21.2% of his height that is created by his shoes.

“We will not fall to the wokeness of modern Calculus,” said DeSantis at a speech in Hornbake which attracted a crowd of tens. “The only limit we need is the limit on how much woke nonsense we’re forced to take in, which is none! Bible! Venezuela! Moralism! Gay bad!”. DeSantis then proceeded to transfer to Penn State.

Many students have praised Denny Levi, the TA responsible for grading DeSantis’ test, as a hero for preventing CS from somehow getting even worse.

Image Credits: Zachary Robinson