On Friday, November 17, 2023, at approximately 11:30 p.m., the University of Maryland Police Department was notified of a man dashing across campus holding what appeared to be a stop sign. An hour later, UMPD received multiple reports of a suspicious-looking man near SECU Stadium, loading several road signs in his car before fleeing the scene in a navy Toyota Prius, license plate “G0 BLU3.”

Around 1:30 a.m. on November 18, a student reported witnessing a man break into SECU Stadium carrying several video cameras on tripods and returning a few minutes later only holding a large metal sign advertising Ledo’s Pizza.

The descriptions of the man were very similar: a white male in his late fifties wearing a navy blue windbreaker with the University of Michigan logo on it. He was clean-shaven, and despite wearing glasses, all reports of the man described him as having a “sad look in his eyes,” with one witness reporting the man’s face “held the expression of a man who once lost a Super Bowl to his much more successful brother.”

Some witnesses also mentioned an accomplice with the man in the odd burglaries. A younger man, possibly in his twenties, was spotted driving the aforementioned criminal around campus, stopping to snag an occasional road sign. Students described the getaway driver as an effeminate young man with curly blond hair sporting a University of Michigan #9 football jersey.

The next morning, students woke up to campus missing many signs. Road signs, construction signs, statue plaques, parking lot signs, A-frames, and astrology signs were all nowhere to be found. Luckily, this did not affect campus traffic, as UMD drivers often ignored traffic signage before it was stolen.

University Police are still investigating the matter and are on the lookout for the man, quickly dubbed the “University of Michigan sign-stealer” by students. If you have any information on the sign-stealing scumbag or his accomplice, please contact UMPD’s anonymous tip hotline at 301-420-6969.

Image Credits: Andrew Simone