UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND, COLLEGE PARK—The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and new students are filing onto campus and into the classroom. With such a bright, hopeful, new start in progress, it’s time for the semesterly joy of textbook shopping to roll around once again. 

If only it were so. These days, it seems more and more students have lost their desire to textbook-shop, or worse, begun to use illegal means of obtaining their course materials instead. I’ve heard complaint after complaint from my fellow students about how “expensive” or “unhelpful” the textbooks are, but if we’re being entirely realistic, it’s the other way around. Without further ado, here’s my list of the top five reasons college textbooks should be more expensive, not less.

• 1. Textbook Companies are Practically Starving

It may be easy to brush off the companies behind these books as “massive, faceless, corporate conglomerates,” but there are people behind them! These companies are stretched thin after producing in such bulk and selling to hundreds of universities—those CEOs need to feed their families somehow.

• 2. They Really are Just That High Quality

Textbooks are consistently undervalued. Sure, spending over two hundred dollars may be unpleasant, but where else can you get 700 loose-leaf pages of physics information, all without a spine or binding? The typos, the tangents, and the fact that 80% of the book won’t be relevant to the course anyway give it personality! Anyway, when the time comes to do some fun, light, engaging reading, nothing can beat titles like Organic Chemistry 7th Edition by Marc Loudon and Jim Parise.

• 3. A Measure Like This Would Reduce Piracy in the Long Run

As I said earlier, piracy is a HUGE problem! We show those would-be pirates that we’re serious by raising prices, discouraging them from nefarious activity and driving down piracy rates. That’s just economics!

• 4. We Need to Keep Meth Off Our Streets

While most textbooks are harmless, some could have dangerous information, like how to make drugs or something. Once, one of my friends told me that in one of his chemistry labs, they told him one of the (many) steps for creating methamphetamines, and while the textbook didn’t directly talk about it, it could have! By increasing costs, we decrease students’ likelihood of stumbling across that information, single-handedly ending the drug epidemic.

• 5. They’re Versatile

Feeling hungry but have no time? Eat the textbook! They’ll fill you up in no time, plus they’re an excellent source of cellulose, a valuable nutrient that’ll make your cell walls strong! Alternatively, pick up the textbook and hit somebody you dislike—it’ll certainly leave a mark. Considering how many ways there are to use these things, it’s almost irresponsible not to charge more!

Image Credits: Zachary Robinson