If you haven’t noticed the sounds of screaming in the warm May air or the hordes of zombies in the cafe lines—it’s almost finals week, baby! But what’s this? You don’t have anywhere to study? Just follow this handy list of study spots and you’ll be more than ready for your exams!

10. Instructional Television Building
Of course you’ve never heard of this one. It’s a teeny-tiny building right next to that massive construction site where the new chemistry building is (eventually) going to be. If you don’t get hit by a falling steel beam, you’ll find a wonderful study spot where you can be serenaded by jackhammers. Fun fact: this building’s name is a big fat lie, since there are no TVs in there whatsoever.

9. Cole Field House
If you can somehow bypass the locked doors and tight security measures, this multimillion dollar facility is hands-down the most bougie spot to cry about calculus. This fortress is supposed to be for just our mediocre football players, but if you can get your hands on a red Maryland backpack and lie about being a communications major, you’ll get in no problem.

8. Yahentamitsi Dining Hall
The hottest new place to eat on campus is also an excellent space to grind for your exams! For an enhanced experience, try going to the dining hall around peak hours when lines go out the door. If you walk around in circles for two hours, eventually you’ll find a nice spot to both cram your face with slightly-above-average dining hall food and cram your brain with sociology terms.

7. The Dumpsters Behind McKeldin Library
Spending too much time fighting to get a spot at McKeldin Library? Forget studying inside McKeldin, why not study outside? Behind the building! By the dumpsters! In the shady, unassuming corner! (Trust me, it’s legit.) Just don’t bring anyone else with you. Or tell anybody about this. If you do, I will find out and I will get you. Don’t be late.

6. The Empty Food Stall at STAMP
It used to be a wildly unsuccessful Roy Rogers, so why not take advantage of it being vacant? You can plop your butt right on the cashier’s counter and study away without worrying about if the spot is taken. In fact, the ghost of Roy Rogers himself would probably appreciate the company. Beats trying to sit in front of the cashier at Chick-Fil-A and getting kicked out.

5. Atlantic Building
Are you a fan of liminal spaces? If so, the Atlantic Building is for you! Rumor has it, anybody who enters the building is instantly transported straight to The Backrooms. If you ignore the terrible, bloodthirsty apparitions that haunt the halls, it’s actually quite cozy and quiet. (DISCLAIMER: we at The Hare do not guarantee that you will walk out of the Atlantic Building alive after entry.)

4. Center for Young Children
Perfect for business majors, the playground and daycare are stocked to the nines with crayons, markers, and colored pencils for your note-taking needs. Being surrounded by tiny, screaming humans who don’t have to worry about organic chemistry eases the stress us big humans have to worry about. Remember to bring a juice box for snack time. 

3. The Outdoor Aquatic Center
Nothing says getting ready for finals like getting your summer tan on! Grab your beach towel, sunscreen, and 4000 pages of chemistry notes and hit the pool! For all you comp sci majors out there, this spot’s a number-one pick since you can finally experience what sunlight feels like. I can’t guarantee your laptop is waterproof, though. Sorry in advance!

2. On Darryll Pines’s Lap
If you walk straight into the Thomas V. Miller Jr. Administration Building, Darryll Pines will graciously let you sit on his lap and study for whatever exams you might have. Like getting pictures with a mall Santa, you can tell him what you want for finals week and, if you’re lucky, he’ll even let you touch his mole. 

1. Glenn L. Martin Wind Tunnel
THIS PLACE IS SO QUIET, YOU CAN TOTALLY HEAR YOURSELF THINK! IT’S ACTUALLY SURPRISING HOW NOBODY CONSIDERS STUDYING IN HERE! JUST SIT RIGHT NEXT TO THE GIANT SPINNING FAN BLADES OF DEATH AND YOU’LL BE BLOWN AWAY BY HOW NICE IT IS IN HERE! WHAT? YOU CAN’T HEAR ME? THAT MEANS IT’S WORKING!

(Editor’s Note: We at The Hare do not assume responsibility for anyone who breaks into the buildings above. We might, however, write something funny about it if it happens.)

Image Credits: Owen Mank