COLLEGE PARK–An investigation is ongoing following the brutal McMurder of a College Park resident at a local restaurant. Citizens are McShocked by the McTragedy that unfolded last Saturday night.

McWitnesses report that around 10:00 PM, the victim walked into a local hamburger establishment and McWaited in line to order. He then got into a heated argument with another McIndividual over a claim that he had McCut in line. 

Around 10:05 PM, the McSuspect reached into his back pocket, pulling out a fully loaded McGlock. The McVictim initially tried to back away before the suspect McShot him, killing the victim instantly. The suspect then threw a McChair through the window of the restaurant and McFled the scene. 

Witnesses reported hearing the staff yell “Holy McFuck! Someone was just McShot!” Staff and customers evacuated through the McBack of the restaurant. There were no other McCasualities.

The police are currently investigating the McShooting, and are asking all personnel in the area to keep a McEye out. The fast food restaurant will remain McCondemned for the remainder of the week while the McIncident is sorted out. 

We reached out to the McVictim for an interview, however, the murdered resident was not available for comment.

Image Credits: Helen Hutchinson