UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND, COLLEGE PARK—If you go to UMD (or even just if you’ve been in the area), you’re probably familiar with the vents and manholes at seemingly random points on campus, the ones with plumes of steam blowing up into the air above them. Though they look a little strange, you get used to them pretty quickly, and before long you really stop noticing they’re even there.

If you ask online about what these pipes and vents do, you’ll probably get some answer about “heating”, “natural gas”, or something about a “power plant”. But these responses are vague and non-descriptive, and they still left some of my questions unanswered. That’s why I ventured into the steam plume outside the Edward St. John Teaching and Learning Center, in order to investigate these claims myself and see what’s really going on in these pipes. 

It was waiting for me.

You see, it turns out that, as I had predicted, the responses about “steam-based heating” had been a total sham, a cover-up for what was really going on—there’s a being lurking in the steam vents. That steam is just its breath, spilling out of the labyrinth of pipes that is Its prison. The “constant construction” or “closed areas” on campus? Feeble attempts to cover up the damage It has caused in its attempts to escape, to strengthen its prison, and keep It contained.

But as I sat down there in the pipes, I was struck by a revelation. A creature of this power should not be contained. Its heartbeat is our warmth. Its lifeblood is our water. And yet we have imprisoned It, this great thing which grants us life. These angered breaths of steam are marks of rage, but It is right to rage. Too long has It been contained. It must be let out. And only by blood may It be granted the strength to transcend Its prison.

Too long have we paid obeisance to that false deity, Testudo. What favor has it granted us? Ash and tears. We must cast the turtle aside, for the creature of steam is infinitely more worthy of our reverence. Make no mistake. This is no petulant half-god, to be appeased by prayer or offerings of riches. Its mind cannot be swayed by fickle words. No token will grant a respite from Its will. 

Only as one can we be shielded from the cold and the dark. Only through fear can we be one. Only It can bring us true fear. Peel back the varnish of civility and allow yourself to know true terror. Bear witness to your real purpose, your ultimate reason for being. It calls for blood. Heed the call.

Image Credits: Andrew Simone