Tired of sitting through hours of grueling exam preparation, only to find out that the professor decided to make an exam so hard that a PhD student would fail it? We’ve got you covered. Even though it has been over a month since midterm season started (and they are still somehow going) there’s no reason to let your grades slip. Here’s seven study tips that will help you survive the next wave of midterms. (Disclaimer: Not guaranteed.)

1. Reserve a 4 or 8 hour study carrel in McKeldin To study, obviously. But they are multi-purpose! For example: I personally like to crawl under the desk, hug my knees to my chest, and pretend I’m a rock. Because rocks don’t have midterms. They’re just rocks.

2. Treat yourself Reward yourself for getting through each study session. A reward could be anything from buying your favorite Starbucks drink, to hanging out with friends, to blacking out at C-stone!

3. Negotiate with your professors Professors are human after all… probably. Don’t be afraid to ask them for some extra credit! Just remember that this is a trade, and that you need to offer something in return. On an unrelated note, what are your opinions on selling your first born child?

4. Beg.

5. Befriend a CS major and make them hack into the professor’s computer to change your grade It’s mutually beneficial! You get less breakdowns, and your CS friend gets coding practice. If you’re a CS major reading this article, consider it as extra credit. If you’re a UMD staff member reading this article, stop.

6. Use the pomodoro method Remember: 25 minutes on, 5 minutes off. What you choose to do in those five minutes is up to you. I personally recommend crying. Then, when the five minutes are up, you can wipe those tears and get back to reading the same paragraph over and over!

7. Fake your own death and move to Ireland And remember, if all else fails, you can always fake your own death, move to Ireland, and start over as a potato farmer named Fiona O’Leery. She’s lived in Galway her whole life and took over the family business when she turned eighteen. Her great-great-great-grandfather, Declan O’Leery, started growing potatoes after The Great Famine in 1845, and the family has helped support the community ever since. Not that I’ve thought this out or anything.

And that’s it! Happy midterm season again, Terps. (Also, if anyone has a relative living in Galway, Ireland that would be willing to let a person live with them in exchange for farm work, please let me know. For legal reasons.)

Image Credits: Clare Dombrosky