Following his homecoming stand up show, SNL cast member Colin Jost was seen running naked through McKeldin Mall. While this may come as a shock to those outside the UMD community, students are applauding Jost’s embrace of school tradition.

During Jost’s set, students made him well aware of UMD’s status as the top ranked public school for indecent exposure. Students began pressuring Jost, shouting “expose yourself!” Jost opened up in more ways than one that night.

After the 5pm show, witnesses say they saw Jost leave Ritchie Coliseum in a bathrobe, find a look alike on the street, and force them at gunpoint to do his set. This certainly explains the quality drop in the 9pm show.

Jost was then seen peeling the robe off his body and jumping in the ODK Fountain, another UMD tradition. He reportedly began yelling “MOM THEY GAVE ME PCP, HELP ME PLEASE… FUCK!”

Our investigative reporter, Nutsack McGee interviewed junior biology major Francis McBasketball about the incident.

“It was hard not seeing him,” said McBasketball, “he’s as pale as a ghost. All I’m saying is that I understand why he was able to pull Scarlett Johansson. His cock was fucking huge.” While these reports cannot be verified, we at the Hare believe in the power of Colin Jost’s penis.

UMPD was called to the scene around midnight, failing to apprehend Jost, and instead asking for his autograph. Jost then continued with his rampage, as UMPD officers once again took a nap.

Image Credits: Helen Hutchinson